I’m nearing the end of my 2nd year of running my business The Violet Crow full time. Throughout the process I have been investigating, experimenting with, and trying out different methods of energy management and expression.
The first year I worked with typical energy expression: Masculine Energy which to me looked like showing up every day, whether I felt like it or not. Working 8 plus hours per day and utilizing force. My first year of business I didn’t do bad, I’d say. I also didn’t have a full-time job, having previously been released from it. My motivating force was to be my own boss and never have to work for anyone again who wouldn’t appreciate me, my efforts, my sacrifices that I made toward a company and its growth. With no income source known there was also a lot of energetic need for money. If you’re not familiar with manifesting your desires, I’ll share that that need, creates a lot of energetic resistance. I was doing anywhere from 1-4 side jobs, to ensure my bills were paid, which was also very exhausting. The one thing I did have was freedom. Those independent jobs were my choice and it felt like Freedom.
I see energetically in this year, 2020 the year the world shut down. My energy was allowed space to decompress and release and start undoing 20 years of masculine energy patterns. It’s the year I started to listen to my body more. I started to do more of what I wanted, when I wanted it. I started asking my body, “Do you want to go for a walk, work, meditate, eat?” and then I listened to what I felt like doing. Instead of having a daily routine, I started to have things I liked to do every day, in any order I felt like it. This year was transitioning me from Masculine Energy Approach to Feminine Energy Approach.
By the end of 2020, I had dived in fully to the feminine energy approach. Do what I want as I was feeling called to do it. If I felt tired, I rested. If I felt motivated, I worked. I paid more attention to my feminine moon cycle and learned to utilize the up-energy weeks, and not beating up on myself when I needed to rest during my low-energy weeks.
Going against natural bodily rhythms can create stress…
in essence that’s whats happening to women when we’re told to ignore the rhythm of the menstrual cycle.”
Alexandra Pope in the book Moon Time by Lucy Pierce
I didn’t do my tarot readings every single day anymore. I started paying attention to reciprocity. I started paying attention to what filled me and what didn’t. I also started diving deeper into Human Design. I started learning about my energy type Generator and it’s not alignment of Frustration. Whenever I would start feeling angry or frustrated that things I was doing wasn’t magnetizing in clients or money. I would stop and redirect my energy into something else. Let the energy pass. Wait until I didn’t feel resentful anymore and was back in alignment with being of service or seeing how a particular thing was helping me learn and grow. I also got more in touch with my Lilith and Kali energy of wanting to burn everything down to the ground; allowing my old methods of doing things release and burn away, and start with a new upgraded method and way. I started to see the patterns and cycles of things. I started to allow myself the freedom to be a new business owner, figuring out how to do things on my own. Embracing compassion for things not being as professional as I’d like, but it was the best I could afford or do on my own at the time. Embracing compassion for self when I started playing the comparison game.
By the end of this year 2021, I see how being fully in the feminine, isn’t exactly the right alignment either. I still doubled my business income, however it’s still a sliver of an amount. Not quite enough to be self-supporting. Enough to reinvest into itself to keep growing and moving forward. This year I got a full-time job again. It was the Universe bringing things full circle and returning me to where I began in a 3-year cycle. Now with the “pressure of needing my business to help me pay bills” off and gone, I know through the way manifestation works, that my business will have the space to grow without my energetic need which equals resistance.
This year, I’m still fighting a lot of fatigue. I have a combined focus of working on my physical body this year, to release from the physical body what I released out of the energy and emotional bodies the past 3 with my own spiritual growth work. To work on more sacral chakra clearing, and to also embrace more of my Human Design to get the sacral motor functioning more clearly, stronger, to energize me and my manifestations.
Here are the Human Design recommendations I’m already working with and will be my focus for 2022:
- It’s either a Hell Yes or a No! No in between’s or maybe’s for me.
- Let the Universe Bring you things!
- You will power and motivation changes day to day. (aka don’t judge myself for the ups and downs)
- Accept things as they are. Its preserves your fuel.
- Share your story more often. It can be easier for me to express what is true and authentic and touch others’ lives.
- Get out in the world more often to have things to respond to.
- Your quality of life is determined by your network and friendships. Only hang out or spend time with people you really enjoy. Not everyone is for you. That’s ok!
These are just some of the gems I pulled out of two human design readings. I’m going to integrate these into my more masculine / feminine energy balance way of doing things.
There’s also one more thing. I will celebrate every time I reach a goal! Guidance from my guides sent yesterday TWICE.
Here’s a permission slip to allow yourself to TRY NEW THINGS. New ways of BEING. New ways of DOING things. To say, “well I tried that and that’s not exactly right. What else can I add-in or shift?” And then find something else. I think our society teaches us to try to uphold an image and perception that we have it all together. I think most of us don’t. We’re just doing the best we can.
Some people find the formula that works for them, and we should celebrate them because we know how hard it is!
In 2022, allow yourself to take the class you want to take. To start the business, you want to take. To start the exercise routine or physical hobby you want to try. Because it’s ok to be a beginner. To not have it all figured out. To know you have a talent or idea you want to offer to the world. To allow yourself to learn all you need to learn along the way to do that. It’s ok to be a beginner. Now set yourself free from all your resistance and ideas or arguments or self-judgements and go do it! At the end of the year you’ll have a lot to look back on and be proud.
