A creative writing story.
I was once walking on a trail by myself to clear my head. My mind was whirling. I was scared and alone and felt so misunderstood. My mind was filled with meds to help the anxiety, my heart was filled with grief and sorrow from all the loss, my stomach was filled with anger from all the injustice. All I could do was walk this trail which led from the back door of the cottage out into the woods. Day after day. Alone.
One day as I was walking, I saw this bird flying overhead. It was a black crow. She often flew around the valley. I would sometimes see her with twigs or worms in her mouth. On this particular day she cawed at me. I looked up while still walking. I looked back ahead, and she cawed again. I look up at her, and she tilted her eyeball towards me. It felt like I could hear her voice inside my head saying, “Follow me”. She started flying in a new direction, off my usual path. I followed her.
As I walked and she flew, never too far ahead, I worked my way through all the trees, bushes sometimes tearing at my clothes as I walked through. I started to hear a stream bubbling nearby. I felt both nervous and curious at the same time. Where is this strange little animal leading me?
Finally, she flew onto one of the branches of this mighty cedar tree. I just stood there looking at her and the tree and wondered, “Now what?”
I stared at little miss crow and heard her say, “Sit down”.
I went to the base of the tree and sat down in a little nook which held the back of me quite comfortably. I sat there and felt this warm energy start working its way up my legs. I wondered what was happening to me. I closed my eyes, because it was like a warm blanket almost soothing me to sleep. I felt myself falling back, sinking, sinking, sinking deeper into the insides of the tree. I thought this can’t possibly be happening to me. I also simultaneously didn’t care, because for the first time in memory my heart didn’t hurt. I didn’t feel angry. I didn’t feel anything. I started to see the inside of the tree, even though my eyes were still closed. I could see a fire flickering along the walls of the inside of the trunk. I could feel a presence there with me.
I could see an apparition taking shape in front of me. “I am your guide dear.” and it was the Crow I had followed.
“My name is Violet. I am your best friend, your soul family, your spirit guide. I am here to help you, do not be afraid.”
I could say nothing. I was so in awe. Completely speechless.
“I am with you always. I can see that your heart is closed down, filled with so much grief and fear that you are not fully living. Love is no longer able to shine, to love, to be your true self. I can see that the injustice of the world has filled you with anger and rage. I can see that you feel alone. I am here with you now. I tell you that I am here to help you release all that is not you. I am here to help you see what no longer serves you in mind, body and heart. You are a great light in this world, yet you have forgotten who you really are. You have great work to do and you must now surrender everything you think you are, to become your true self. You do not remember but you chose everything about your current life. Your parents, your country, your home, your name. You set this all up for a reason. For your souls highest good. For the world’s highest good. You must start seeing deeper within yourself and others, so that you can set yourself free. You must learn to see deep within and high above. Your perspective must grow, shift, expand and change. I am here to help you with this.
Transmutation is not fun and comfortable, but on the other side is always lightness, joy, freedom, creativity and self-expression. Start to tune into your inner frequency. Start to hear your inner voice, the way you are hearing mine now. Start to sense what you YOU truly feel in each situation. IS what another is saying true or false? Are there words matching up to how they feel within?
You are a being of light, awareness, infinite. You are powerful beyond measure.
You are now departing on a new path, one that has not been tread before. Take time to learn your color, your essence, your medicine in this world. You can see into and within. You can fly high or observe. You can be both in the darkness and the light. You are all of creation and the power that created it. Don’t ever forget that as within so without. As above so below. This will be your compass.”
“You are wise and there are many wise beings both in the world and floating through the dimensions. You can always call on us and we will be there to assist you.
Now my dear we must leave this tree. For my message is done. And so it is. And so you are. Goodbye Medicine Woman.”
I opened my eyes to find myself sitting in the forest back to the tree, stream bubbling nearby and my Violet Crow flying high in the air, off in a direction unknown. My heart longed for my dearest Violet to be still sitting here in front of me. Speaking to me within my heart.
I sat and sat and sat. I sat and watched the water run by, I sat and watched the clouds whirl, I sat and watched the sun go down. I sat and heard the scuffling of feet and whizzing of bugs. I sat and sat and sat. I sat not knowing what to do next. Where do I go, what do I do and how do I do it? They weren’t even thoughts; they were more like feelings. And my feelings told me to sit and observe and stay. The stars rose in the sky. The breeze got cooler and cooler and fish started to jump up in the stream. I saw a mama bear walk up to the stream with her baby and grab some fish for dinner. I saw deer walk up to bushes and eat the fruit. I saw all of life moving and swirling and it felt….peaceful. At one point in the night a white owl flew to the branch in the tree and made a screech. At once I knew to stand. She jumped off the branch and started to fly. I followed her. As I walked the moon beams lit the path forward for me. I was not afraid. I just took one step in front of the other and followed this beacon. This lovely soul. This lovely guide.
We arrived at the edge of the woods, and I could see my cottage in the distance. I could once again feel the warmth in my body, this time in my head, my mind being wrapped in a warm blanket. “Remember my dear, the mind is something you use, don’t let it use you. It is not you, don’t believe its trickery. Call me when you need a reminder, my name is Snow”. She flew off into the distance.
I was alone again. Blessed. Blessed by the forest. Bird Spirit Medicine. Bear Spirit Medicine. Deer Spirit Medicine. The Tree Spirit Medicine.
Blessed by The Violet Crow. My guide. The one who led me to my own personal path. Reminded me of who I really am. Who is always with me, there to help me stick to my blueprint. My essence. My light. I am Medicine Woman.